1) I live in heaven
2) I'm not that interesting
3) which is not good if you're a DJ
4) I have the best job in the world - except when the computers break down
5) I had to be drug - knuckles scrapping the floor - into the computer world
6) Since then my boss has come to believe he created a monster - "IT'S ALIVE!"
7) My named - Screamed in total desparation at full volume - means
"Calista BRING YOUR TOOLS my computer did it again"
8) Yes I have a toolbox
9) Fixing what they broke and other maintainence beyond a man's realm of capability. (This includes lightbulbs, toilet paper, taking out the trash, and slaying ants.)
10) You may have noted I've become sexist.
11) I dislike those who hate
12) They makes my head spin and I want to hurl
13) Well except snakes - maybe this should be number 1
14) I do hate snakes - but realize they have a meaningful purpose in the world
15) My fear for snakes colours everything I do outside
16) Except for the morning I walked into my second floor office and found a Anaconda under my desk
17) I try very hard not to lie
18) I called Debbie's son to come get it for me.
19) Debbie did it herself - cooing to it. I lie not. I wasn't shamed.
20) My first boyfriend was Ronnie - he got away - we never did it
21) I've been married three times
22) This totally colours who I am
23) and supplies me with endless standup comedy - most aren't amused
24) My mother, father, and daughter are constant inspiration
25) My boyfriend is Ben, he's 4 years old, he has the best kisses
26) My husband is the world's best whiner - he's proud of this ability
27) and he never fails to make me laugh
28) I can tell my husband anything - he likes Ben's kisses too.
29) He's Oregon Duck fan, he collects ducks - I call him Ducky
30) He calls me Fritzi
31) My motto is - Where you have been is who you are.
32) This truism colours my life and perspective
33) I always want to know what makes a person tick
34) A reason is not an excuse - its motivation
35) I am Quaker in my faith - this definately colours who I am
36) Ducky is not. He doesn't always see eye to eye with me
37) I don't believe in organized religion
38) I don't understand why people think God has enough time on his hands to do something personally to them
39) Do they understand there are almost 7 Billion people on the face of the earth? I do.
40) He's got more important things to do that run my nylons, which run a lot
41) So I switched to black tights
42) I use to wonder why older European women always wore black tights
43) Now I know - even thought I'm American
44) I wore a size 8, just 8 years ago
45) Gosh, that's discouraging. Now I wear a size double elastic waist
46) I gained 25 pounds the first month I quit smoking
47) Everytime I try to diet I gain 10 pounds
48) Then I became pre-menosal. So if I wasn't menopausal before now, wasn't I still premenosal?
49) Then came the hot flashes. More weight gain.
50) My present age
51) While it is fodder for stand up comedy, I will weight 400 pounds by 2020. Zager and Evans didn't count on that.
52) Things I miss - wearing a bikini, wearing mini skirts, first kisses
53) I have never met my bestest friend. Never
54) I have several best friends. My husband, my mother, my daughter.
55) but Emma Rose is my Bestest friend.
56) She is like the other half of my sisterly soul
57) But we are way different and just alike
58) My sister is one of my best friends too, and so is my sister in law - they are awesome women
59) People I someday want to met face to face. Jesus. Emma Rose. Natalie R. and Peggy
60) They are awesome and inspire me.
61) I've been to Mexico, Germany, England, Scottland, the Netherlands, and France.
62) I want to go to Canada, Australia, and Ireland, and the others but not France.
63) Ducky has never traveled anywhere. LUCKY ME!
64) Don't buy Mickey D's in other countries. But definately have Spatzlè and Goulash Soup at the Hofbraü Haus in Munich
65) Or fish n' chips in Adebrugh
66) I like tofu.
67) But not as much as Tempeh
68) I have a basset hound
69) Arlo is the first dog to fetch consistantly for me
70) He weighs 70 pounds and thinks he's a lap dog - he is a great lap warmer.
71) Arlo is a great companion
72) I'm a left over sweetheart
73) George Winston serenaded me with his guitar. He played raindrops,
Bonèpart's Retreat, and darn a song I can't remember
74) It was my birthday
75) He didn't know it
76) My favorite group is Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young
77) The best concert ever - the Eagles in Münich - I was suddenly homesick
78) I made a life long friend in Germany - Patty - she lives 8 hours from Rose
77) I miss my grandfather - he was very special - pipes make me think about him.
78) My eyes leak
79) I have two beautiful step daughters
80) I ♥ fresh brewed French Roast coffee
81) I hold it in my mouth and savor the flavor
82) I am a procrastinator
83) People don't believe this about me
84) I am incredibly shy. People don't believe this either
85) I can make myself do a lot of things.
86) But not if it involves snakes.
87) I can never be on Survivor or Fear Factor - until they have Survivor Ireland
88) I don't have a favorite movie
89) I have a lot of favorite books.
90) And even more favorite albums - don't minimize go with the whole disk
91) Music colours my life
92) The people who mean the most to me have songs that remind me of them
93) Even my childhood friends. I may not see my friends for decades, but they are ALWAYS in my heart and thoughts like we just parted - they are a song
94) I broke my foot parasailing - my tailbone playing softball - I've had three concussions all caused by animals.
95) I don't like talking on the telephone
96) The world is connected through email
97) I don't believe in prolonging a life outside of quality of life.
I DO NOT BELIEVE IN LIFE SUPPORT!
98) I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ
99) I cuss like - well really bad. POTTY MOUTH. I try not to.
100) I want to be cremated.
101) My IQ is 124
I’ll be dressing Monkey as the Little Dutch Boy
4 hours ago